Acknowledging the past & Confronting the future
by beautiful-mistakez
Summary: "Carlisle!" She repeated, "How can you choose this- this disgraceful mistake over us!" It was strange to be called that, I almost felt angry but because of my better knowledge of the situation, I let the heating emotions fade away.. AU/AH, Edward/Bella
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. R&R**

**Prolouge:**

Carlisle's POV

_Dear Carlisle,_

_You may not remember me, but if you do, I would suspect that you are not so fond of our past encounter. It was a mistake, I recall you telling me that and I find myself agreeing. We were not in a conscious state when this unrighteous event occurred. And I also suspect that you have been having a hard time trying to remove all signs connected to this occurrence from your memory, I could have happily assured you that you have succeeded but that would be a big fat lie. The past will always haunt you unfortunately, and one way or another, it will find its way back to the presence._

_I'm sorry having to inform you this but after our meaningless night together, I discovered something you might find to be very dreadful. And on this matter, I will have to disagree, because no matter how meaningless our encounter showed out to be, the end result couldn't at all be considered that. I love my son too much to ever regret him. I hope you will learn to accept and give him the much needed love I could not._

_Look at this as more of wish from the mother of your child than a dying request from a regretted lover. My only wish is for my son to be happy, please do not leave it unfulfilled. _

_Sincerely,_

_Catherine McCarty_

The scattered pieces of what used to be a letter were ruffling on the ground as the wind danced with them. I had never felt so disappointed in myself. At the time I had not imagined the consequences which could follow. I guess it's true when they say that all mistakes leave scars. The scars in my case cannot be healed or hidden. I have to live up to my responsibilities whether I like it or not. It had been my own choice, my own dishonourable decision. I cannot force the blunt of my burden onto a child.

I carefully lifted my eyes from the ground only to be met by a pair of curious hazels glittering in anticipation. The dark haired boy could not be older than ten and I did not have it in my heart to just abandon him, not now when he had finally found me.

There was not much left to consider after that. I tugged on his arm, pulling him close to me, and with that gesture my hesitation vanished, being replaced by hope. "Son," I whispered in a sad tone.

***

_Emmett's POV_

I watched in fear as my father stepped out of the giant white house with two cases of luggage in both of his hands. His face was grim and I could almost sense the regret he was feeling. I knew this had something to do with my sudden appearance in his life.

"Carlisle!" A painful cry forced through the air. I looked up to see a dark auburn haired woman stepping outside in haste. She was holding something in her arm, leaning it into her shoulder to steady her balance.

"Carlisle!" She repeated, "How can you choose this- this disgraceful mistake over us!" It was strange to be called that, I almost felt angry but because of my better knowledge of the situation, I let the heating emotions fade away..

Carlisle gazed at her, sadness written as clearly as day on his tired features. He took a deep breathe and glanced over at me before answering in a whisper, "He is my son Esme," he paused briefly before continuing, "He has no one to take care of him. He _needs_ me."

I felt overwhelmed now. As if I was deciding someone's fate even though it was out of my hands. Obviously being trapped in the body of a ten year old did not leave you with many privileges. I could not decide whether Carlisle should choose me or his family. This was a dilemma his wife had forced upon on him since she could not bear my existence.

Tears were running down her face as she shifted her position, making it finally possible for me to peek over her shoulder and view what was hidden beneath that huge mass of cotton collected in her arms. "What about me? What about our child!" A piercing cry was shot through the air as she exclaimed the latter part, "Do _I _not need you? And our son Edward, does he not _need _you?" She asked as sobs erupted from her throat.

Guilt was suddenly flowing through me as a tornado at the mention of his other son. I was not only taking a husband away from his wife but at the same time forcing a father to abandon his little infant. I was the devil's masterpiece brought to earth to cause misery and hurt.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle whispered before taking my hand in his and pulling me along. Away from this house, this time and place - away from everything he ever loved.

**Chapter 1 will be up soon! Please review ;)**


	2. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer - I own nothing

A/N: Thanks a lot to my beta-reader Brian Mayville, for correcting my mistake :)

R&R

_Emmett POV _

I was sitting in my father chair lazily peering at the golden frames on the wall before me. I could hardly make out the auburn haired woman but her smile did not go unnoticed. She looked content in a sense that was rather unimaginable, at least now after that very incident nearly two decades ago. That fateful day stayed with me, I could never have it erased out of my memory. There was an immense amount of emotion on display that very day, I could almost feel the bitterness and hatred that had been directed my way. It was biased how fate had twisted things around. If mother hadn't passed away, I would never have interfered their life and my father's agonized eyes wouldn't be filled with unbearable longing and sorrow. These dark orbs used to reflect love once, no matter how ludicrous that may sound now.

I had no doubt in my mind of his love for me and there was a reason attached to that. There were many things I was able to reorganize in my father's eyes, but never had I seen a slightest sign of regret. It simply did not exit. He never considered my existence a mistake, although his unfaithfulness could have been avoided.

I often found myself wondering whether his wife would have taken him back if it weren't for my presence. And if he could ever get his way back to them now that I was able stand on my feet. The possibility of having my half-brother react to father's return in a welcoming manner was rather questionable though. These insightful musings were, of course, usually followed by a guilt-trip in pessimism-land.

My mind suddenly wandered off to my previous intentions, which involved a heart to heart with my father. I had originally come up here to his lonesome hell of a office to clean up the air between us. I was surprised to find that the grizzle bear had left its cave. My father never spend much time outside this room, it was probably an emergency at the hospital that had made him leave. And I, as luck would have it, chose the perfect time for visiting.

I shifted into an awkward position on the chair and brought my cell up to call one of my coworkers from work. Unlike my dear father, I had gone down a different road. There were way too many preparations for medical school, so I had settled on becoming a police officer. And so far, I was happy with my decision.

I dialed Jackson Swan's number and waited for it to answer on the other end. A moment later an annoyed voice responded, "What? Did daddy-dearest get some tears leaked out of you or something? "

I ignored him, "I'm sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep_ Aurora_ but I need a favor and it's a kind of urgent."

"Shoot,"He muttered half-asleep already.

I sighed and closed my eyes, "I would like to have a word with your uncle, do you think you could set up a meeting?"

- - -

_Carlisle POV_

"_It's been seven years now Esme, please." I was kneeling in front of her with pleading eyes and a defeated look across my face._

People often dwelled on the future, whereas I found myself still living in the past.

_Her delicate face was tear stained but the stubbornness in her voice had not lessened with the years. She spoke in a quivering but firm tone, "You made your choice Carlisle, now live up to it."_

_I shrank back in rejection and lowered my head as my eyes began to feel moist. _

Yes, I had made my choice, but I was naive enough to still let myself hope...

_The room become covered in thick silence as Esme made to leave. I forced myself up to make my own departure when I suddenly heard a loud clash against the the wooden floor. In the next second the whole terrace was surrounded by Lego bricks everywhere and my eyes were met by a pair of green emeralds frowning at me._

Although at the moment, it seemed more like a far-fetched dream.

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Edward POV in next chapter

Please review =)


	3. Chapter 2

**I'm so so sorry for not updating sooner. I have been very busy and kinda forgot about this fic. I will try to update more often now. **

**If anyone is confused about the ages. Emmett is 27 and Edward is 17 and it's been 10 years since Carlisle last visited Esme.**

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Edward's POV

I turned off the lights before I entered my bedroom so I could avoid the lengthy mirror hanging from across the bed. The pain I felt would fade away eventually but the scars and bruises would remain as permanent reminders of what my life had become. I dropped my heavy weight on the old creaking bed and prepared myself for another restless night.

When morning approached, I almost felt numb. I could not get of bed at first but after countless attempts I managed to do it at last. The house was empty as usual. My mother Esme was barely ever home these days. She had taken two part time jobs that kept her busy during the whole day. We only saw each other on the weekends but also then our time together was limited.

Esme would usually leave money on the kitchen table so I could buy myself something to eat but she seemed to have forgotten to do that today. It didn't matter though as I rarely ate. The money was either used on cigarettes or gas. The only time I actually ate was when I was with Kate. She would practically show the food down my throat. "You are proof that guys can have eating disorders too. What's it called again... manorexia?" She would tease me and I would flip her off. Deep down I knew she said those things because she was worried about my health but I just couldn't help myself. I didn't have any desire to eat.

After some afterthought, I pulled out my phone and dialed Kate's number to ask her to come over. I was neither in the mood nor in the condition to go school today. The only thing I would gain out of it was new bruises and scars. Michael Newton and his friends had made it a hobby to mess with me whenever an opportunity came up. It was almost as if it had became a part of their daily routine.

About an hour later, the doorbell rang and I quickly ran my hand through my messy hair. When I opened the door I saw Kate's face fall as she took in my rough appearance. She carefully lifted up her hands to my swollen face and looked at me with sad eyes.

"What happened?" She asked even though I suspected she already knew answer.

I shrugged and led her into the living room. Kate didn't drop the subject though. One of her most annoying qualities were that she was so persistent and stubborn. She could never brush anything aside. These were also the things I admired about her. She was strong-willed and always managed to get it her way.

"Newton," I gave in at last. "The same old shit."

Kate shook her head and frowned. "What's his problem with you? I mean it's not like you slept with his girlfriend or something right?"

"I don't think so," I snorted and handed her the lighter after I light up my cigarette.

"Well that confirms it then," Kate replied with an annoying smirk.

"How does my response in any way suggest that I fucked her?" I blew the smoke in her face with a chuckle.

Kate crunched up her nose. "Who is she anyway?"

"Isabella Swan, Renee's daughter."

Kate burst out laughing. "The same Renee that is going all cougar on your ass? This is hilarious," she kept laughing hysterically.

I shook my head at her as she continued on with her rambling.

The Swan family lived a few blocks down from us. I have never had any sort of interaction with them, though Renee would occasionally smile my way whenever she saw me. The daughter Isabella was supposedly around my age. She had recently moved here to live with her mother. I was almost never at school so maybe that's why I kept missing her and why her face was still a mystery to me. I had, however, been graced with the image of her naked body. It happened two months ago while I was waiting outside Kate's house which was next door to the Swan's. Isabella had felt for a skinny dip that night and I just happened to have a nice view from where I was standing. Her dark brown hair had made a curtain around her face but everything else had been out in the open. The moonlight had illuminated her curves and I remember having trouble sleeping later that night.

Kate ransacking my pockets brought me back to the present. I pushed her hands away and looked at her confused.

"I'm looking for money," she simply shrugged and tried looking under the couch pillows.

"Esme didn't leave me any today," I sighed.

Kate stopped her motions and sat still for a moment with a thoughtful look on her face.

"You can't always rely on your mother, you know," she said softly.

"What are you suggesting Kate? I drop out of school like you did and get a job?" I sounded tired and I could feel my my head throbbing as my vision became slightly blurry. The sudden pain that shot down my arm alerted me. I looked up to see Kate's hand formed into a fist.

"I'm not asking you to drop out of school but seeing as you never go to your classes anyway, it probably wouldn't make a difference," Kate replied annoyed. "You should at least try get a part time job and learn to take better care of yourself."

I looked at her bewildered. "Did you really come here to lecture me?"

Kate gave me a tight smile and shook her head. After a moment, she replied, "I know I'm the last person who should tell you this but I am because I care about you and Esme."

I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her. "We are fine. I am fine. Stop worrying all the time."

She pulled back."Have you eaten anything today?"

I rolled my eyes.

"That's what's bothering you?"

Kate swallowed a laugh and seated herself on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Promise me you will eat something."

"I promise," I held back a smile. "I swear to God if I didn't know any better, I would think you are bipolar."

She playfully slapped my shoulder. I winced a little because of my body's fragile condition. Kate mouthed an apology and then leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her petite frame and pulled her closer.

.

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**Edward is completely unaware of what happened and is dealing with his own problems. He will find out soon though because of Bella.**

**Leave a review so I know that people are still reading this fic. Esme's POV next.**

**For those who are reading my Sab fic, I will post a new chapter this week.**


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